I am what some would call a "prude." I'm pretty conservative in my beliefs, values, and traditions. I think that's why my response to the Richard Sherman interview (by Erin Andrews) has taken even me by surprise.
In case you haven't heard, the Seahawks won a place in Super Bowl XLVIII. Immediately after the game, Ms. Andrews came up to Mr. Sherman to interview him about what happened in one of the final plays of the game. (If you haven't seen it, click here to watch it.) He showed incredibly poor sportsmanship. One of the things we try to teach our kids is how to be gracious winners. This was definitely not an example of gracious winning. Ideally, he would have said it was a nice effort by Crabtree and just left it alone. If he was unable to do that, then he should have followed the advice of mothers everywhere and not said anything at all.
Alas, he did not.
In response, a number of people are calling for an apology by him to Ms. Andrews (who doesn't seem to mind the attention this interview has gotten) and even more are "disgusted" by the behavior. While I don't think his attitude and comments are what I would like for my children to emulate, I see it a little differently. He didn't react with a profanity-laced tirade (caution: needs bleeped) unfit to be aired without bleeps. He didn't flip anyone off. He probably won't even land on a list of the 10 most unsportsmanlike moments in sports.
I'm ashamed to admit that instead of a gracious response, he responded not unlike what I probably would have in his shoes. You see, I am competitive. I like to win, although I'm not really big on trash-talking. I have been known to do my fair share, though, in response to someone else doing it. I get defensive and feel like I need to get back at them for "running their mouths". If I wait 15 minutes, I wouldn't say anything ~ it's not really who I am, and in the heat of moment, my humanness might take over for a minute. My heart would hurt later over anything I would say in those moments. I look at what happened mere moments before that interview and think, I can only imagine what would have come out of my mouth. (Please note, I don't cuss, but I have been known to use "idiot", "stupid", and more critical terms liberally when annoyed.)
It is in that vein that I find myself standing by Sherman, thinking that he showed more restraint than most in similar situations, but less grace than many. Last year, I worked on extending grace, and perhaps this is an extension of that. I probably wouldn't have been as forgiving (or grace-giving) a little over a year ago. Now, though, I am trying to be more open in recognizing my own flaws and failures, and this is one that really cuts close. I am trying to learn to use my words "for good." I don't want to be the one remembered for a few poorly chosen words, but rather for what I said to uplift and encourage the downtrodden and for what I said to defend those who couldn't defend themselves.
This isn't intended to defend Sherman. It's my own defense ~ my own response ~ a recognition on my part of my own failings and how hard it is to see someone else being hit so hard for something I've done. Ouch. I hope to do better in the future. In the meantime, I offer my own apology for any hurt I've caused out of my own competitive spirit.
Monday, January 20, 2014
Thursday, January 2, 2014
One More Day!
He's coming home!
My son has been gone the past week-and-a-half, spending Christmas and New Year's with his dad and family in that part of the country. He goes three times a year ~ part of Christmas break, all of spring break, and all but a week of summer break. Last summer, he left a few days after his baby sister was born, and I am so glad he was able to be here and have a few days with her before he left. She grew and changed so much while he was gone, but she wasn't quite as aware that a family member was missing. This time, though, she knows who "brother" is and loves to sit and play with him. He loves to "wear" her (in a Boba carrier), and she thoroughly enjoys being toted around by him. He has made up songs for her and likes to make her laugh. He will take baby girl whenever he can. If she starts fussing in the car, he right away tries to help cheer her up.
The past ten days have been hard. She misses him and loves listening to him on the phone. More than her missing him, I miss him. A lot. Every time. Our home just seems so incomplete with him not here. He is a daily dose of joy and humility for me. lol Seriously ~ he's a teenager and he has his moments, but I thoroughly enjoy having him around. He is a great kid. He has chores that I have to nag him about at times, but he is incredibly helpful otherwise. I miss him ~ and not his help (although that is great), but his presence.
His heart for others is incredible. I've no doubt that it's a big part of why he is such a great big brother. He has raised money for suicide prevention after a friend killed himself. He's raised money during the 30 Hour Famine for World Vision. He is part of the youth group at church and is hopeful that in the next few years, he'll be able to go on a mission trip. He stands up for people who don't always have someone to stand for them.
I appreciate his insight ~ he often sees things in a way that I don't...or sometimes in a way that I should. His presence is a good reminder to me for my resolution word for this year. If I'm not gentle with him ~ or someone else ~ form his viewpoint, he reminds me. Aside from my hubby, I don't know who else would be able to effectively give me that type of feedback.
I can't wait to see him tomorrow.
My son has been gone the past week-and-a-half, spending Christmas and New Year's with his dad and family in that part of the country. He goes three times a year ~ part of Christmas break, all of spring break, and all but a week of summer break. Last summer, he left a few days after his baby sister was born, and I am so glad he was able to be here and have a few days with her before he left. She grew and changed so much while he was gone, but she wasn't quite as aware that a family member was missing. This time, though, she knows who "brother" is and loves to sit and play with him. He loves to "wear" her (in a Boba carrier), and she thoroughly enjoys being toted around by him. He has made up songs for her and likes to make her laugh. He will take baby girl whenever he can. If she starts fussing in the car, he right away tries to help cheer her up.
The past ten days have been hard. She misses him and loves listening to him on the phone. More than her missing him, I miss him. A lot. Every time. Our home just seems so incomplete with him not here. He is a daily dose of joy and humility for me. lol Seriously ~ he's a teenager and he has his moments, but I thoroughly enjoy having him around. He is a great kid. He has chores that I have to nag him about at times, but he is incredibly helpful otherwise. I miss him ~ and not his help (although that is great), but his presence.
His heart for others is incredible. I've no doubt that it's a big part of why he is such a great big brother. He has raised money for suicide prevention after a friend killed himself. He's raised money during the 30 Hour Famine for World Vision. He is part of the youth group at church and is hopeful that in the next few years, he'll be able to go on a mission trip. He stands up for people who don't always have someone to stand for them.
I appreciate his insight ~ he often sees things in a way that I don't...or sometimes in a way that I should. His presence is a good reminder to me for my resolution word for this year. If I'm not gentle with him ~ or someone else ~ form his viewpoint, he reminds me. Aside from my hubby, I don't know who else would be able to effectively give me that type of feedback.
I can't wait to see him tomorrow.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
My "Resolution Word" for 2014
Two or three years ago, a Facebook friend (former college classmate) shared about how she was not doing New Year's resolutions, but instead was choosing a word to live throughout the year. It was a fascinating way to look at resolutions, and I decided then that I was going to do the same.
In 2012, I chose "love". I tried to live each day with an example of love. Not always easy, but I tried. I did cheat a little that year, as I knew I was getting married, so "love" kind of was an obvious choice.
In 2013, I chose "grace". I wanted to learn to not only give grace to others, but also to myself. I think I've came a long way in regards to extending grace, although I must admit that I still struggle with be gracious to myself sometimes. I think, though, that it has helped in regards to my parenting this time around.
I've been giving a lot of thought to my word for 2014. I thought of "grow" or "learn", but those are obvious, as I'm starting classes in a few weeks. I thought of "time", but I've already talked some about that in another post. I'm trying to challenge myself this year.
Then, I thought of a word that I've struggled with for myself for a while. I know this will be a challenge, but I am praying that I make it. The word this year is "gentle". I looked up a definition, and here it is from dictionary.com:
In 2012, I chose "love". I tried to live each day with an example of love. Not always easy, but I tried. I did cheat a little that year, as I knew I was getting married, so "love" kind of was an obvious choice.
In 2013, I chose "grace". I wanted to learn to not only give grace to others, but also to myself. I think I've came a long way in regards to extending grace, although I must admit that I still struggle with be gracious to myself sometimes. I think, though, that it has helped in regards to my parenting this time around.
I've been giving a lot of thought to my word for 2014. I thought of "grow" or "learn", but those are obvious, as I'm starting classes in a few weeks. I thought of "time", but I've already talked some about that in another post. I'm trying to challenge myself this year.
Then, I thought of a word that I've struggled with for myself for a while. I know this will be a challenge, but I am praying that I make it. The word this year is "gentle". I looked up a definition, and here it is from dictionary.com:
gen·tle
[jen-tl]
adjective, gen·tler, gen·tlest.
kindly; amiable: a gentle manner.
not severe, rough, or violent; mild: a gentle wind; a gentle tap on the shoulder.
moderate: gentle heat.
gradual: a gentle slope.
verb (used with object), gen·tled, gen·tling.
to tame; render tractable.
to mollify; calm; pacify.
to make gentle.
to stroke; soothe by petting.
to ennoble; dignify.
Synonyms
clement, peaceful, pacific, soothing; tender, humane, lenient, merciful. Gentle, meek, mild refer to an absence of bad temper or belligerence. Gentle has reference especially to disposition and behavior, and often suggests a deliberate or voluntary kindness or forbearance in dealing with others: a gentle pat; gentle with children. Meek implies a submissive spirit, and may even indicate undue submission in the face of insult or injustice: meek and even servile or weak. Mild suggests absence of harshness or severity, rather because of natural character or temperament than conscious choice: a mild rebuke; a mild manner, temperate, noble, manageable, docile, tame, quiet, courteous, polished.
clement, peaceful, pacific, soothing; tender, humane, lenient, merciful. Gentle, meek, mild refer to an absence of bad temper or belligerence. Gentle has reference especially to disposition and behavior, and often suggests a deliberate or voluntary kindness or forbearance in dealing with others: a gentle pat; gentle with children. Meek implies a submissive spirit, and may even indicate undue submission in the face of insult or injustice: meek and even servile or weak. Mild suggests absence of harshness or severity, rather because of natural character or temperament than conscious choice: a mild rebuke; a mild manner, temperate, noble, manageable, docile, tame, quiet, courteous, polished.
WOW. That's a tall order. I want to clarify, though: it's not that I'm ever deliberately unkind or hurtful. I am, however, always honest and straightforward ~ and most times, I don't filter it through a lens of gentleness. One friend once said to me "It's not that you're not gentle. You're just......firm." My hope is to be more gentle in my responses to people. I can still be firm, but I definitely need to add gentleness to the mix.
Have you ever chosen a word as your "resolution"? Would like you to share how it went (or what it was)? Would you like to join me on the journey for this year? I share my chosen word publicly to help hold me accountable, but you don't have to. It is relieving to not have a bunch of resolutions to try to stick to. Just a single word ~ that is doable, but not necessarily easily so. I hope you choose well.
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